Literally. By no man, though, I dont mean there arent any men. God knows there are plenty. But men who want me, at the stage Im in, with my three kids, a house, and a cat, and, most importantly, with no father for my children.
A person can only spend so long applauding someone elses success before becoming lost in it altogether. My life is now laid out before me, undetermined, a blank canvas on which I can create the image of myself I have always pictured.
My online dating profile. And so it beckons. I got my divorce when I was just 40. I say just because I dont think Im old. And Im not. But Im not young either, which, as a single woman, sometimes makes me feel like I.
Until that one special person reveals himself, that person who acknowledges I am a package deal, and loves me even more because of it, here I will remain. Alone. And Im okay with that, even better off because of it, content with the idea that.
This is 41. My profile. My story. For now. This article appeared on Scary Mommy January 10, 2016.
Its not in my nature to ever give up. A close friend reminded me that in the not so distant past I complained to her about no longer having a man in my life. Though I dont specifically recall the conversation, during the throes of.
Perhaps need was the wrong word. The correct word is want. I dont need anything or anyone to make my life whole. For that, I thank my children and myself. But I find myself in a difficult position today, in limbo between my love and.
I question. Should I even bother dating? Trying? Or should I put my romantic life on hold altogether so I can focus on my children, because, so far, no one right for them, let alone for me, has emerged?
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Its a tough nut to crack, and not a perfect picture, for anyone, least of all me. Dont get me wrong. I wouldnt trade my family for anything. Even as a little girl I always dreamed of being a mother.
Yet, the reality is, I must. I have to, at least for the time being, consider the possibility I may be single for the next nine or so years until my youngest child goes off to college.
When he does, my world will open up to more potential partners, men who, admittedly, only want the woman and not her so-called baggage. It pains me. Because, as I see it, I have recently embarked on a grand adventure.
And I was blessed to become one for the first time at 27 years old. But at 41, I dont want to think of my prospects for finding a soul mate as all but impossible because of the full and busy household my ex decided.